It's a Match!

“But forget all that— it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?"

Isaiah 43:18-19

We have amazing news to share! We found out this past week that we have matched with a donor couple! For those of you who have been following our journey, this has been a long awaited and fought for moment. When I think about the past 3 and a half years, Isaiah 43 comes to mind. This verse was one of the few things that provided me peace and comfort during the time after my dad’s accident a few years ago. The verse proclaims that there is always something greater ahead of us than what we have already seen. It promises that God is always working for us, even when we are unaware. I do not think this verse could be any truer for Matthew and me these past few weeks.

Very similar to the matching process for domestic adoption of a child or infant, embryo adoption requires a home study, education, and then a matching period. Unlike domestic adoption, in which the adoptive parents wait to be chosen by a birth mother or to find a child that fits what they are looking for, the matching process for an embryo adoption began with Matthew and I. We were given around 200 donor profiles to start with that included basic information about prospective couples. From there, we were able to request extended profiles on couples that we felt like matched what we were looking for. To say that this task was completely overwhelming is a big understatement. How do you “choose” a child? We also chose to have an open adoption with the donor parents. So how do you then choose a couple that will now forever be a part of your family? Our honest answer: prayers, trust, and grace.

After pouring over extended profiles from donor couples, we made a decision and narrowed down our choices. But we still had a large obstacle to overcome. In an embryo adoption, because we chose to have an open relationship, the donor couples had to “choose” us in return. What an immense amount of pressure! Will they like us? Are we good enough? It felt like going on a first date again. But in less than 24 hours, we got our answer. The donor couple “chose” us back! The joy of that moment is something I will never forget. At that moment, we became parents. The embryos from the donor couple were ours. We have children. Now technically they are still frozen and have a long way to go until they actually become children, if everything works out. But those little nuggets are ours!

This whole process confirms those verses in Isaiah 43: “I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?” Not only is God definitely doing something new for us, but He has been working on it all along. He is a God of details. Out of 200 profiles, He guided our hearts and minds to make one of the most important decisions of our lives together. We have no doubt that He chose our donors, just like He has chosen our children for us.

So now the fun, but also very scary part begins! Over the next couple of months, we will start preparing to transfer those donor embryos into my uterus and hope that they like it enough in there to stay put! We ask that you pray for peace and patience for Matthew and me as we get ready. I think the most intimidating part of the next step for me is that to some degree, what happens next is determined by my body. I can only set myself up to be successful, but whether or not the embryos stick is truly in the Lord’s hands. No matter what happens, we will continue to trust and believe in the hope Christ has given us in Isaiah.